While the picture of the Middle East painted from television news channels involves insecurity, holy wars, and a life that you would not generally wish on anyone, with the possible exception of the certain members of your spouse’s family, travel magazines globally are only too happy to publish articles on dream holidays to the region where you can live in the lap of luxury while sipping champagne on white sandy beaches. So which is it? The breeding ground of terrorism or the new playground for the world’s super rich?

 The reality is that to stereotype the entire region into either of these categories is incorrect.

To suggest that the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia have common practices would be the equivalent of stating that apples and pineapples are the same thing; yes they are both fruit and one may even derive its name from the other, but here ends the commonality.

Within the scope of my knowledge, and because this is meant to be an article and not an encyclopedia, I shall limit my commentary to three key issues that a relocating expatriate may find interesting. Housing, immigration and education you might think; no let’s talk alcohol, religion and romance.

I will use 5 cities, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Doha, Kuwait and Riyadh as reference points because these generally speaking provide a broad view from the liberal to the traditional and are the largest relocation centers in the region.

So let’s start with the more sociable aspects of life in the Gulf, and talk about where to get a drink.

Well first stop should definitely be Dubai. With a plethora of bars, restaurants and nightclubs spilling out of its constant stream of new hotels, this city seems to party on steroids. Well that is until you get behind the wheel having had an after work pint and find yourself on the wrong side of the law. Zero tolerance on drinking and driving is strictly observed and the penalties are severe. Alcohol can be imported and the generous allowance is 4 liters per arriving passenger which may be purchased from the port of embarkation or at the arrivals shop at Dubai Duty Free. Once a resident of the city you will need to apply for a liquor license and this will allow you to purchase alcohol locally and keep this at home. This can only be done as a non Muslim. All sounds easy, well it is. The only real drawback to drinking in Dubai is the large markups and duties which can lead to a serious dent in your wallet. Abu Dhabi has similar laws in reference to the importation of alcohol, and while there are not quite as many bars in the Capital of the UAE as there are in Dubai, you will not go thirsty in this town. An interesting statistic is that more champagne gets consumed at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix than any other event globally. I guess drinking and driving is acceptable in some circumstances.

Doha offers availability of alcohol in 4 & 5 star hotels and through specialist alcohol stores. As an arriving passenger, it is strictly forbidden to import alcohol, but you are free to purchase on your way out. Qatar has been quite closely linked to sport and will be the official hosts of the 2022 Football World cup. They have followed a very strict policy with regard to serving of alcohol during events to date, but this is rumored to change as the country reinvents itself in anticipation of this major event.

Kuwait holds some challenges, unless you are a member of the diplomatic corps. Alcohol is only officially available within the embassy bars to which you have to be invited. Importation is illegal, and while a parallel market may exist the cost of a ticket to Dubai may well be cheaper than a night in with a quiet drink.

Riyadh and Saudi Arabia in general, have a very simple policy to alcohol. It is forbidden. Having said that we all know that during Prohibition there were some excellent home brews created. If you have the right friend in the right embassy (the diplomatic quarter of Riyadh has a few bars) there is always the chance of a loophole in the law. I know that I have woken up with some real hangovers in the Kingdom which were not caused by the desert air alone.

As we can see this is a land of extremes, so let’s move across the spectrum to religion. In case anyone out there has not figured it out, the region is highly prone toward Islam and as such if you are of the Muslim faith you will definitely fit right in, but what if you are not?

Well in Dubai & Abu Dhabi you will have no challenges what so ever and will find that acceptance to religions other then Islam is high. Hindu temples and Christian churches are numerous and if you look hard enough you will even find a synagogue.

Kuwait sits one rung down, where there is a tolerance toward other religions, and places of worship legally exist, but these will be in limited numbers.

Doha until 5 years ago did not recognize religions other then Islam, but the need to attract global labor and a strong underground movement where meetings would take place in secret, led to a general acceptance. While still relatively limited, today places of worship are public and festivals are openly celebrated. A small caveat however is to remember that things change quickly in this country and what is the norm one day could be quite different the next.

Riyadh sits at the extreme again, and while there are estimates that over 1 million Christians live in the Kingdom (primarily Third Country Nationals) there is no recognition of any religion other then Islam (the two holy cities of Mecca and Medina are both in the Kingdom) and prayer meetings must take place in secret, generally in homes. Items and articles belonging to religions other than Islam are prohibited. These include Bibles, crucifixes, statues, carvings and items with religious symbols.

The Saudi Arabian Mutaween or Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (i.e. the religious police) prohibits the practice of any religion other than Islam. Public worship of non-Islamic religions is forbidden and people of all denominations have been subjected to persecution for public preaching.

The reality however is that regardless of which end of the spectrum these countries sit on in terms of their tolerance levels, they are all far from secular in their views. This is most noticeable during the holy month of Ramadan, when you are expected to adhere to the practiced code of not eating in public during daylight hours regardless of religion. While the enforcement of this expectation may vary from country to country, it still stands to reason that when in Rome………….

Finally let’s look at the practicalities of finding romance in the region. While many will arrive family in tow and thus be looking to settle into a society where the proverbial values of strong home life are all important, there will be a fair number who arrive single and as nature intended, be out and about looking for love.

Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Doha all have strong expatriate communities where there is open interaction between women and men. Though cultural barriers usually restrict expatriates to not mix with the indigenous populations, this is not unheard of. However it should be noted that despite what may seem like a relatively liberal attitude towards western values, you are in a traditionally Islamic society and as such respect towards the culture should be shown. As a general rule, public displays of affection should be avoided. That having been said, the social side of these cities tends to be as sophisticated as anything in the west, and activities varying from speed dating to singles nights at the nightclubs and bars are well publicized.

Kuwait tends to veer more toward the traditional side, and while social interaction is quite open at most levels, it should be remembered that it is a conservative society where religious values take precedence. You are more likely to meet other singletons as introductions through friends and in groups then at singles night in a local coffee house.

In Riyadh there are two degrees of life. What happens inside the compound you live in and what happens outside. The social life within compounds generally reflects life in the West where women are not veiled or covered and interactions are open. Outside of compounds and private residences a highly conservative approach should be exercised in public. One thing to bear in mind though, with women not being able to sit in cars with men who are not family members, picking up your date might be a bit of a challenge.

To any of you thinking that the above is a rule book on how things work in the Middle East, it is not. Its intention is to give you some guidance into how the cities conduct themselves and what to expect.

That having been said, I have definitely had a drink and woken up with a hangover in each of these cities, had to ask God for blessings in all of these places, and since I arrived in the Middle East single, met and married my wife there, I can attest to the fact that it’s all possible in this part of the world.

 

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Three years ago, Dubai was dubbed “The Millionaires Playground”. If you could stand the heat, were looking for a chance to earn a tax free income and have fun whilst doing so, then Dubai was the ‘must-go’ destination for many. One of seven states that make up the United Arab Emirates, Dubai was at the height of its development boom. Home to some of the world’s most iconic development projects such as ‘The Burj’ and ‘Palm Jumeirah’

Then came economic melt-down and Dubai was hit hard. Property prices fell by up to sixty percent and expatriates left in their thousands as jobs were cut, and the massive development industry almost came to a standstill.

I wondered how Dubai is shaping up for a new expatriate following the crisis and to find out I spoke to Florence Chabert d’Hieres who heads Intouch Relocations cross cultural education.

Florence arrived in Dubai in September 2010, accompanying her husband who had taken a posting working for an international organization.

Prior to living in Dubai, Florence had lived in New York, Switzerland and Australia.

How easy was it to relocate as an expatriate partner to Dubai?

Florence found that relocating to Dubai was quite a straight-forward process from a bureaucratic and administrative perspective. Relevant official centers are open regularly and the documentation is made easy by efficient systems and staff that are extremely willing to help. An example of the level of efficiency is that you can buy a car in twenty minutes. Of course there were many pitfalls because processes are different everywhere, but with appropriate guidance it was not too much of a challenge.

For Florence it was important to find work soon after arriving, and she was surprised that as an expatriate partner this was relatively straightforward..

In Dubai, provided that the spouse has a visa and a management position, then he/she is able to sponsor his/her partner’s visa himself.

So is Dubai an expatriate ghost town?

Florence immediately assured me that Dubai is by no means a ghost town. Jobs for expatriates are being advertised and there is a good influx of twenty to forty year old international employees. The expatriate community is very entrepreneurial and there are many multinationals with regional bases in Dubai. Much of the development work has also begun again.

From a lifestyle perspective Florence describes Dubai as ‘New York in the sun’, cosmopolitan in many ways, you are able to live your own life and no one judges you. People are pretty easy-going and she finds that life in Dubai has an almost Latino feel (perhaps a consequence of the near constant sun!). There is a relaxed attitude to time, if people do not arrive for the coffee at the pre-arranged time, well, no-one really worries.

What about the Islamic traditions?

Florence explained that as a western foreigner you are aware that Dubai is an Islamic country in the sense that you there mosques and you hear the regular call to prayers. Some women may also dress in Arabic clothes. However there is no sense of judgement and everyone lives their own lives together in harmony.

”As an expatriate it is in important to be respectful of the Islamic religion.” For Florence this means that she dresses appropriately, ensuring that her back and shoulders are covered if she is walking in public places. It is also important not to show affection to one another in public, she explains, and so she does not walk along hand in hand with her husband for example.

Ironically Florence feels at times as though she is the inferior one for not being veiled as the local women are. It can be quite disconcerting, she explains, as she is unable to see their full faces, their expressions and reactions, whereas they are able to see her. Far from being a male dominated society she finds that men are very polite and women are treated with a great deal of respect.

What is the expatriate community like?

The expatriate community in Dubai is really a two tier community. There are the professional expatriates and business owners.. These people enjoy a high standard of living, often  in luxury compounds and apartment buildings. In contrast there are the labor class, are primarily third country nationals, who are paid lower salaries and have poorer life conditions.

“I imagined that there must be a lot of happy expatriates, however building a new life abroad can have its highs and lows wherever you are in the world and Dubai is no exception. Isolation is one aspect of life in Dubai that some expatriates, particularly the accompanying partners experience. The expatriate lifestyle can be bitter sweet. It provides a sense of belonging, a village within the city, but it can mean that people focus all their energies and attention on one particular community and never get to experience the real Dubai.”

Florence encourages people to get creative and become involved in local associations, charity or take some courses, arrange to go for a walk with friends, venture into the old town of Dubai, anything to get them out of their lonely “perfect” cocoon. For the non-English speakers such as her French counterparts, take the time to learn English as this is widely spoken and would help them to overcome their isolation.

What about the local culture?

The local culture is very family and community centered, originating in the historical tribal society.Florence explains that there are two faces of Dubai, the new Dubai where most of the foreigners live and spend their time, and the Old Dubai – the real Dubai. Head into the old town and you get to feel and experience a different Dubai and local culture.

Florence’s tips for successful living in Dubai:

  • Be open minded and ready to mix across nationalities and cultures.
  • Respect the local culture when you are out and about, dress appropriately and behave within acceptable norms.
  • Learn about the real Dubai, visit the old town and get involved in local activities.
  • Look for international social events and organizations e.g. Inter Nations or the different business councils
  • If you want to work, there are lots of possibilities you just need to look for them.
  • Don’t stay in your comfort zone, break out and look for opportunities to do exciting and interesting things.
  • Look for a cross cultural training program and an expatriate/cross cultural coach if you feel that you need help in developing coping strategies.

Florence is a cross-cultural coach and is currently working for Intouch Relocations as the Head of Cross-Cultural education. If you would like to speak to her about her experiences in Dubai and in the Middle Ea, please feel free to contact her by email at florence.chabert@intouchrelocations.com

 

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